Three Seasons Triptych

LILAC TIME (for Steve)

Eleven or twelve, the year doesn’t matter;
May seventeenth,
or twenty-second, irrelevant dates
that both happened.
Let the world smirk at our disdain of time,
tradition, convention,
question our memory or our ardor;
recall is overrated.
Sometime in May, every year, lilac buds
open just enough,
release a premonition of fragrance,
to make the eyes close
as for an unknown number of kisses.
Why count or count down?
Let’s just stay in this half-bloomed state,
not caring how many
buds are past or promising, unable
to put a finger down
on the pulse of that fugitive perfume,
with the light just so.

News: there is no law
against second chances.
So much is allowed.
The equinox came and
went, and September
dug its claws deep
in summer’s flank.
And there, under an
improbable arbor of
grapes ready to press,
you and I went back
seven years and kissed
the world right again.
COLD COMFORT (for Claudio)

It’s a bitter night
to hunt the Huntress;
but the brittle clouds
have cleared the way
for me to glimpse her
from behind glass.

I feel as trapped
as my cat tonight,
taunted by shadows
under the snow.

Last night he saw an owl
poach a fat rabbit
that should have been his,
striking so silently.
I can still see the imprint
of its ghostly wings.

It’s cold comfort,
sharing this cozy cell,
but again tonight
we dine on moonlight.

Setting my blogs aside on a note of romance, given it’s the central theme in my writing. The formatting may not be correct, but that’s WordPress all over. These odes to my three loves are old poems, as new ones aren’t particularly forthcoming these days — one of my principal reasons for stepping “away from the machine”.

This and The Fairy of Disenchantment will remain, willfully taking up space on WP’s servers, and I’ve got subscriptions to the folks I follow here, so I won’t be entirely absent. But if there’s new work to be read (a big If, it feels like right now), it will be on Instagram (@sunhesper, also my Twitter handle) where I have more room to play with creative (im)permanence. Finishing the novel(s) will be my main focus; in fact I’ve booked myself a little writer’s retreat this weekend to hopefully make progress on that. The end of the first Beast is so close. I refuse to let MS rob me of that victory.

Lots of mental space has to be cleared first, though. I suppose I needed to be this sick to quit deluding myself that my work situation is sustainable. The next few months will be laying the foundation for that departure into the land of Disability. It’s scary, even though I grew up in lean times. But a time has to come when you re-evaluate what comfort means. Look after yourselves, friends, and hold on to what matters most.

“In my defense,” the shirt reads, “the moon was full and I was unsupervised.” Only half true in this case.

13 thoughts on “Three Seasons Triptych

  1. I’ve definitely enjoyed real life more since dispensing with half my blogging life–well, the silly one was more like 80% than 50… 😉 Hopefully I’ll be managing the occasional something on the remaining 20% of efforts one, and will still see you popping up there!
    Best wishes to you, Sun, I hope that your writing continues to go well for you, and of course, your health.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I particularly like the first one…I’m not good with time either, it’s the feeling that counts.
    It feels like the world needs to make changes, and I wish you good health and smooth sailing. I’ll look for you when you pop up. I’m still figuring things out myself, but I think I’ve finished moving for awhile. That’s a start. (K)

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Sun, I’ve been absent from blogland, more than I’ve been around since the pandemic started. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re departing from your blog and that your body is getting the better of you. I wholeheartedly wish you all the best with your novel, and can only admire your courage and determination. That triptych of yours is amazing xxxx

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you Sarah! Here’s hoping the body is kind and the muse cooperates and the book gets out in the world soon. You’ll know about it for sure when it does!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s